As the immortal Kirk Lazarus taught us in the movie 'Tropic Thunder', you NEVER want to go full retard. Unfortunately, it appears an awful lot of applicants have failed to receive this memo because idiots are popping up left and right. To be fair, a decent portion of these idiots happen to be members of our own guild, but hey, they have earned the right to act dumb, not move for barrage, and come to raids less prepared than Le'Veon Bell comes to a drug test. Our members have proven over time that they are the best players in the world the only sick mother f'ers willing to put up with our shit for prolonged periods. A new applicant has proven nothing, so the expectation is that you come with full consumables, a 6 pack of Red Bull, cocaine, or whatever you need to play at your best, and a notepad full of jokes to keep us laughing.
Despite a few bad apples we have experienced with our recruiting efforts, we have fared very well overall and have managed to pick up several excellent players and, more importantly, excellent people. Our Legion roster is beginning to take shape and we can see the light at the end of the tunnel coming faster than the outbreak of deadly viruses at the Rio Olympics. We originally stated that we would become much more selective with our specific class needs as Legion neared and, well, that day has arrived much sooner than anticipated. Like a horny 14 year old staring at pictures of Kate Upton, we have prematurely climaxed and are now restricting our needs to the following:
- 1 Melee DPS (Rogue, Death Knight, Enhancement Shaman, Demon Hunter)
- 1 Warlock
- 1 Hunter
- 1 Balanced Druid
- 1 Healer (Druid, Paladin, Monk, Shaman)
While we are here, let's talk about what we are looking for in an applicant. First and foremost, we do NOT care if you raided in super guild XZY that cleared content faster than Bernie Sanders alienates his entire support base . All this feat proves is that you had less of a life than the majority of the human population. Congratulations? There's nothing inherently wrong with having been a part of these guilds, but using it as the basis for your recruitment pitch to us is not going to help you. The amount of times we have heard "I raided with _____ guild 3 years ago and killed things faster than everyone while never leaving my computer and pooping in a sock. Invite me now for because I can play 50 hours a week and bring the big Deeps" is higher than it ever should be and makes us question the human race as a whole. Also, if we hear one more person use the words "leet" or "deeps", we are going to join Broxy and make it a mass suicide:
For those wondering, A-side may or may not be a reference to an alternative means of sex popular in some all parts of the world where red blooded males exist.
If you need to review the specifics of what we do and do not want in an applicant, please visit here and read carefully. Pay special attention to our focus on personality as opposed to just skill. We are playing a game with a very real skill cap. No matter how hard you press your keys or how fast you mash your mouse, you can't make your character move faster or hit harder than the game allows. We certainly expect players to be able to play at the skill cap, but the trick is to be able to do it while simultaneously being enjoyable to hang out with. The only thing worse than wiping needlessly is genital warts wiping in silence Whether you support Donald Trump lying more than a New England Patriot's injury report or Hillary Clinton breaking the law more often than Draymond Green punches someone in the dick during a playoff game, the trick is to be able to join in on our spirited debates while still playing your character to perfection. Our topics are typically wide ranging and touch on everything but Warcraft and we want people to add to that conversation, not drag it down.
If you sound like the type of person who can maintain an extremely high level of play while also maintaining an extremely high level of personality and conversation, please apply here and our merry band of loot whores will be in touch.